IAN JOHNSTONE |
On Thursday, May 29, 1986, the first Under The Eagle's Nest was published in the Gabriola Edition of the Nanaimo Times. It was about my encounter with a 'big-mouth clam'.
I debued the column in the August '91 edition of Island Fish Finder Magazine telling the tale of my first brush with the now infamous Codzilla. For a while the column appeared in both publications. Soon, however, I focused on the magazine. My last column with them was one I had tried to write each year since I had begun the column. Father's day. June 1995.
The articles featured on this page will appear in no chronological order. Some will be from either publication, some new and never published before.
...enough already... Here's this week's offering. Enjoy.
Johnstone: O.K., so why a rabbit? I mean, why not a raccoon for instance?
Bunny: First of all, I must set the record straight. I'm not a rabbit. I'm a bunny. There's a big difference, you know. Just ask "Hef". (A little Bunny humour there.) As for the raccoon crack, well, don't let those cartoon characters fool you, a raccoon would eat the eggs, not deliver them.
Johnstone: Sorry, Mr. B... can I call you "Mr. B"? It is "Mr.", isn't it? I just assumed...
Bunny: (Laughing, nose and tail wiggling) That's alright. I realize it can be hard to tell sometimes for humans. I'm not fond of my real name, anyway.
Johnstone: What is your real name?
Bunny: Edgar. I used to use it, but I kept getting mail for some country singer.
Johnstone: How long have you had the job, Eddy, and just how does one become an Easter Bunny?
Bunny: (Irritated, but polite) Please don't call me "Eddy". (Pause) I've had the job as long as I remember. I was born into it, actually. It's handed down from generation to generation. I am the 143rd son, so I inherit the title.
Johnstone: So it's actually a patriarchy, then.
Bunny: Yes. There was a while during the 1940's when a female did take over the duties temporarily, but that was never meant to be a permanent situation. The female's role has always clearly been that of bearing and rearing the young.
Johnstone: Well, some of our readers won't take kindly to that statement.
Bunny: I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. You've heard of some of my predecessors. Jack Rabbit, Peter Cottontail, Bugs Bunny, March Hare. All males. (Aside) We only just found out that March has been institutionalized for years. We all thought he was dead, you know. Bugs of course resigned in mid-term and went into show business. Seems there was some cover-up over some missing eggs. But, since he did carry on the tradition for some time, and he did resign before being impeached, he does get to keep his pension.
Johnstone: I want to thank you for your candor and cooperation. I know you have other appointments.
Bunny: Yes. I'm meeting the tortoise for lunch today, then Alice for tea. If I don't rush, I'll be late. Good day.
[Indicators] [Easter Bunny Interview] [The Snit] [Father's Day] [Ian Johnstone's Home Page]
(Th-th-that's all, folks!)